We had a very lazy day today. We spent the morning watching Mama Mia and then took a long nap – just resting and waiting for my period to start.
I love Mama Mia, there is something so sweet about a good relationship between a mother and a daughter.
When you are younger, you tend to put yourself in the shoes of the daughter – looking up to and just embracing the acceptance and love of Meryl Streep.
As I have gotten older, I have started to identify more with the mother. Embracing the change and the chaos of life, remembering the past with fondness and grief, surrounding and being surrounded with love and life – with one notable exception.
There is a deep grief in losing the future you hoped to have. The moments you dreamed about since childhood fading away with each doctor appointment, each test. You still have hope but it is like looking into thousand broken mirrors each with a different future. You are not sure how the pieces go together or if it is even an image you want to look at. Eventually, pieces start to get swept up and tossed into the dustbin as the word “impossible” gets thrown around.
You get cut up trying to put the pieces together on your own then throwing out whatever you put together. Finally, you stop. You get up. Find a comfy chair and a hot cup of tea. And you wait. Wait for the next broom. Wait to see what’s leftover.
In the meantime, you get to go to Greece 😉